Dear Diary,
A friend of mine has recently found out she is pregnant and is burdened with the pressure from both sides of the family, especially her in-laws, on discovering whether the baby is a boy so that they can prepare for their disappointment. I find it heartbreaking that an unborn child is already being judged on something it has no control over.
My friend already has a little girl and often talks how this girl is always put down and compared to her nephew. Her daughter is too little to understand these comparisons now, but there will come a time when she will and her relationship with her grandparents will suffer because of it.
The status that boys bring into an Asian household cannot be underestimated, even in 2011, in Britain. Clearly gender of a baby is still a controversial subject in many households. The desire for a boy from parents, grandparents and the extended family is quite saddening as is the prejudice that surrounds a birth of a girl.
So much so, that I have been hearing some bitter stories about family interactions at the birth of a girl; mothers in tears of disappointment, fathers ignoring the mother and the child, grandparents making mothers feel unworthy and not accepting the child, the list goes on.
What I am finding difficult to understand is that this desire for boys is not just from the elder generations but from the younger generations who are having children now. Equality of gender is far from accepted in many families. My friend does not care of the sex, only that it is a happy healthy baby but finds defending the sex of the child a difficult battle.
I feel very lucky and blessed with two little girls and am extremely happy with my family. I have no desire to have a boy. We have been lucky enough to have two beautiful happy and healthy baby girls after some difficulties conceiving and I would not have it any other way. However, just recently, my dad asked my husband if we were going to try for a boy. I am now wondering if he is unhappy that we don’t have a boy and whether my parents would have continued having children if my brother was a girl…
So what is it about having a boy? I am asking this question because I really don’t know and can only come up with very old fashioned rationales. Are we still really old fashioned when it comes down to our families?
Come on people, Girls Rock!!!
Bunty
The Chatterjis Blog 