They Are Children

Dear Diary,

The story of the paedophile ring that had been infiltrated yesterday made me shudder to the core.

In  my life, I have known of two men, who have been convicted of grooming teenage girls. For me, this is two too many. In each case, I recall my stomach hurling; in each case, they blamed the girl for leading them on; in each case, two families were left devastated; in each case, the molesters family were grasping at straws to fathom their fate.

I have no idea what is said in the victims households but I have been privve to comments made in defense of the molester. I can imagine that it is really hard in an Asian family to deal with sexual abuse. Basic survival skills kick in, and for Asian families, it  is to save the family name.

“he was such a nice man” – to which I think, no he wasn’t because he wouldn’t have done that if he was;

“She must have led him on”  – to which I say really, does he not know that this is fundamentally wrong; and even

“the wife doesn’t look after him” – to which I explode what are you blaming the wife for you idiot!!

My biggest cry to this is; THEY ARE CHILDREN, LEAVE THEM ALONE.


2 Comments to “They Are Children”

  1. Hi Bunty,

    I think it’s a particularly awful abuse of trust and it is a shame that our culture’s first instinct does tend to include denial. It is natural to feel disbelief but denial doesn’t help anyone, especially the victim. Children need to feel that they can trust adults and that they receive justice even if they don’t fully comprehend what happened to them. Are children from our backgrounds even given therapy or the option of it to help them deal with the trauma?


  2. “He was such a nice man” – well, no he wasn’t was he? Would they think he was a nice man if he touched up their daughters?

    “She must have led him on” – this comment fails to recognise that we have to define a child in a civilised society – in UK that is under 16. A child under the age of 16 is therefore incapable of “leading someone on” no matter how sexually advanced her experience may be.

    “The wife doesn’t look after him” – ah, so if the wife has sex on demand (as some sort of marital right) then this would prevent grooming? Give me a break. The wife probably hates his guts too but there is no way out for her.

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