In the 90s my sister and I were singing along to a very popular song on MTV with lyrics along the lines of ‘it’s my life, my problem’ to which my mum responded in jest but with a hint of truth: it’s not YOUR life and it’s MY problem!
I do feel very lucky that I have been raised with the best of both cultures but sometimes I still find it confusing determining where the boundaries are with regards to my private life.
When I was at university, I didn’t mind that my mum would open my credit card statements as she was the one who was making the payments but I know many of my friends would find that strange. When I am in my family home, people just walk into my bedroom without knocking and I don’t care or even notice but I wouldn’t accept this behaviour from a flatmate. A bit contradictory isn’t it?
When I am in India, people feel quite comfortable asking me personal questions or confidential questions about my business. I feel more comfortable answering the personal questions (are you married?) but not the business ones. I often have to politely respond that I’m not giving private/confidential information. I don’t make it into a big deal and people often just need to re-phrase questions however it is quite fascinating watching reactions.
But do Indians feel much privacy, or the need for it, when they have full time live-in maids and helpers? You’re never really alone or able to have private conversations unless the helper doesn’t understand English but even then, they are still there reading body language and gestures. Every domestic has an audience, sleeping arrangements are open knowledge, what you watch on TV, your movements and whereabouts are noted (in or out of the house) and guards log every entry and departure from your gated community.
Perhaps the boundaries just change depending whether I am in a good mood or not because there’s no real logic behind my feelings.
Bubbly
