I’m Every Woman

Dear Diary,

The pleasures of “me time”, that I once relished as a single woman, are now reduced to stolen moments of drinking a cup of tea in peace, blow drying my hair without someone asking me to do something or indulging in a home face mask when the kids have gone to bed.

Last weekend, I was hoping to start reading Custody by Manju Kapoor. It is a short book and I know I could have finished it over the weekend. But then all my responsibilities kicked in. I became every woman.

A diary of my weekend went something like this:

  • Daughter: Pick up parents from airport at 4am. Make breakfast.
  • Mum: Kids wake up at 6am – feed and clothe.
  • Granddaughter: Do some household chores for my grandparents and make them lunch.
  • Daughter-in-law: Drop off a bag of bits and pieces to my mother-in-law.
  • Wife & Mum: Hold hands with husband whilst playing with the children in the park. (this was cute though).
  • Wife & Mum: Make lunch for everyone.
  • Housewife: Put clothes onto wash, tidy up, load dishwasher, iron clothes.
  • Friend: Meet friends for dinner in the evening .
  • Mum: Play with children at dinner in a pub.
  • Wife: Drive home as husband has had too much to drink!
  • Mum: Put kids to bed.
  • Me: Shattered and to bed!
  • Mum: Wake Up in the middle of the night to attend to child.
  • Wife:  Fend off sexual urges from husband who wants a quickie before the kids get up. I’m too tired.
  • Mum: Get kids ready after breakfast.
  • Housewife: Do food shopping.
  • Wife & Mum: Get lunch ready.
  • Mum: Play with kids.
  • Wife & Mum: Cook dinner whilst kids and husband are having a nap.
  • Housewife: Do some gardening with husband and kids.
  • Sister: Take time out for brother’s visit.
  • Mum: Feed kids. Play, bath and bed
  • Wife & Mum: Plan and prepare for camping holiday the following weekend.
  • Me: Bed.

Throughout my entire weekend, I seemed to be servicing someone else’s need.  Whilst I do not begrudge this, I find it is so easy to get caught up and be neglectful of oneself.

Next weekend, I am taking my book and I am damned if I do not finish it. A little quality time for me is needed. If my husband is taking his golf clubs, I am most definitely taking my book.

I don’t doubt that many women who have partners, husband and or children end up being “every woman”. How do you manage to get me time?


6 Comments to “I’m Every Woman”

  1. Oh Bunty, I’m exhausted reading about your roles over the weekend and scaring me from such responsibilites. I will cherish and enjoy single life for a bit longer.

  2. oh bunty!!! that sounds exhausting!! my ‘me’ time is when the kids r in bed. however im due to return to work shortly and sadly thats what i will consider as me time then!!

  3. Doesn’t sound like your husband helps much is he unable or unwilling to?

    • Anon, my husband does help quite a bit. It was just one of those weekends where everything was on my shoulders. In all fairness, even when he does help, a lot remains on my shoulders. I am much more organised than he is.

      Vakeel Bibi, don’t let me put you off, but I too miss spontaneity of dinners, drinks, theatre, cinema and especially those afternoon snoozes!!! I wouldn’t ever change my life with my children but they are hard work!!!

      Isn’t it funny that holding hands with my husband is where I get my kicks these days. Yes it probably does sound boring but cherished by me.

  4. I was recently having cocktails with some cousins – all of whom are single, including me. One of my cousins is constantly being hassled by her older sister to get married and have children, yet is not really selling it to us as her life is not really something we aspire to have with the constant servitude to others.

    It looks quite nice to have children but I am at an age where it will get increasingly difficult to have any – I have to admit a small part of me doesn’t care. I love my selfish lifestyle and my weekends are packed with dinners, drinks, theatre, golf, picnics and afternoon snoozes on hampstead heath.

    Bunty, you are making me think I need to keep this up for a few more years before I start a family! I know you wouldn’t change your life with your lovely children, but for those of us that don’t have any .. I’m willing to wait a little longer!

  5. I agree with Vakeel Bibi! Whilst holding hands with a husband and kids is probably quite fun if you have them, to me it sounds boring. Sorry!

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