Dear Diary,
Recently, I heard the tragic tale of a young divorced woman who had just come out of living what could only be referred to as Freud’s theory of the Oedipus Complex.
She described to me the strange relationship that her husband had with his mother. At first she thought it was odd, as her husband’s family were more tactile than hers, but then she felt it was extremely abnormal and something needed to be done about it.
Her first experiences of her husband’s fixation of his mother was very early on in their marriage. In the evenings, rather than spending any time with his new bride, he would snuggle into his Mum, head on her breast and she would gently stroke him. Often, when he was late home, he would jump into bed with his Mum. He would kiss his mum hello and goodbye, but just nod or talk to his wife. He would come up behind his Mum in the kitchen and cuddle her in that loving way a husband would cuddle his wife. The list went on.
She didn’t know what to do or whom to turn to. Divorce was not an option then. Her marriage was arranged and she didn’t want to let her parents down. She had to make it work. So instead of walking away, they bought their own place and tried for a baby.
Unfortunately, by taking away the object of her husband’s affection, she found herself being the victim of his abuse rather than his love. He pined for his Mum and would compare her, verbally and physically abuse her, repeatedly letting her know that she was nothing compared to his mother.
Finally after three years, she took the plunge and decided to end her awful marriage. Of course, she has been subjected to the trials and tribulations that go with an Asian woman getting divorced but little by little, she has finally stopped blaming herself and is able to see that this was a troubled young man.
When Freud theorised the Oedipus Complex, he saw it as a stage of development that occurs between the ages of 3 to 5 and links it to the development of the superego, which uses guilt to prevent continuation of incestuously oriented relationships. Failure to get past this trigger point and into the symbolic order of relationship is considered to be a classic cause of lasting neurosis.
Neurotic is a word repeatedly used by this woman to describe him.
Bunty
The Chatterjis Blog 