We’re often told by wiser and successful people to never regret anything. However, do our regrets make us human? Does living by someone else’s mantra damage us psychologically? Whilst I can’t think of any regrets in my life so far I often do wonder at the life I might have had if I had gone down a certain path…If I hadn’t ended a relationship, if I had studied another subject at university and so on.
Luckily for me, these daydreams end in a shudder and relief that my life as I’ve chosen it is the best for me but I often hear from married girlfriends how brave I am for ending a long term relationship and how they hate being married, a few ( from across the world and different backgrounds) even told me that marriage ruined their lives.
A website that launched a couple of years ago called Secret Regrets invited the public to write in anonymously with their regrets and it became such a hit that the person that started it has published two books as a result. This is one of the confessions:
“I regret that on a weekly basis I lie to my husband. I lie about going to class just so I can sit in a coffee house and read a book for some ‘me time.’ I tell him I’m stuck in traffic when I’m really stealing 30 minutes to stop at a vitamin store and purchase something for me … I lie about how much money I make. I lie when he calls to see what I am doing … I lie about getting a pedicure. I lie about taking a nap. I know this is wrong, I just don’t know how to do some simple things in life without being hassled … so I lie … It is a huge regret for me since I teach our children how important it is to tell the truth.”
– Female, 46
I feel sad when I read things like that but perhaps writing to this website is like confession and helps the person deal with their situation.