My Big Fat Ass

jeans

Dear Diary

I bought a pair of jeans AND wore them in public AND felt great. You are thinking so what, but I haven’t worn jeans (or trousers) for about 15 years! I have a fat ass and fat thighs and clearly a bit of a mental health problem. I’m 5 ft 2 and “curvy” and convinced myself I only looked good in skirts and dresses.

At uni, I made a friend measure it! My ass! Can you measure my ass, I said and she said yes. I told her that my ass took over more than half my body, I knew it did. So we measured! Seeeee! I screamed when we got the results, my ass starts all the way up here and doesn’t finish until half way down my legs!! From this day forth I shall be known as Mrs Longbottom. She sighed. I promise this is a true story.

I have loved wearing dresses and skirts and didn’t care about jeans. However, I was starting to feel a little restricted with fashion and always felt “dressed up” for every occasion, even a Sunday cider in the pub. How was I cured of this malady? Simple. My sister blackmailed me and forced me to buy a pair and now I have two! Eek!

So how’s it been? I love them and wash them and dry them so I can wear them tomorrow. On Day 3 a charming fellow told me I had a nice ass. Normally a comment like that would make me go ballistic as I knew someone would only say that as a joke and more impotantly, how dare the misogynist bastard look at my ass, I am not a piece of meat to be oggled at you piece of poo!

However, ahem, he is right, I do have a nice ass. It is big, too big but it’s mine and it’s having a lot more fun in jeans!

Anonymous

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2 Comments to “My Big Fat Ass”

  1. I love my big fat ass. I have always had one and no matter what exercise I do, it’s always been disproportionately big.

    My nickname at boarding school was “bumblebee ass”. I know girls can be cruel, but I couldn’t get upset as I knew it was true.

    What I would like to know is where you got these jeans from. I can never find ones that fit my ass and my waist, not even those curve ID ones from Levis – the bold curve is not curvy enough! I have resorted to buying jeans and trousers and having them altered at a tailor, but then they just never look the same as when I bought them…

  2. most man love woman with nice big but and where you got the jeans on you wow you see the curvy

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