David Beckham retired from football yesterday?
Excuse me, did he play football? Still? I thought he was just a deliciously fit H+M model (thank youuuu H+M for selling your crappy £3 pants on the yummiest bod ever!) And he won us the Olympics, but wasn’t that because of his cute smile? And isn’t he World’s Best Dad or some rubbish?
I used to think he was a bit overrated with his naff hair and spotty face and then all of a sudden, he kissed a frog and turned into a prince! And my my, isn’t he ageing well?
I must admit I’ve never actually seen him play football. Yawn. He better not have retired from public life or else how will I point out to Him Indoors that Becks has REAL abs and if he gives me his choc muffin, then he’ll be one step closer to Becks…
Bubbly
