I was a serious tomboy. So serious that I told the other tomboy in the school that because she wore knickers she wasn’t really a tomboy, was she? (I wore Spiderman and Hulk pants…. mmmm “Hulk pants” means something so different now.
Anyway, I digress. I therefore hung about with boys. At school, after school, in the holidays. I was a football captain with scabby knees and razor-shaved hair. No-one could beat me at Operation Wolf.
From having almost zero girlfriends, in my late 30s I now have almost zero boyfriends. In fact, I have two male friends that I love (one is gay so I’m not sure he counts).
The gradual siphoning off of boyfriends is due, in part, to changes in mutual interests, awkward offers of love and relocating for jobs etc. But by far, the single most reason is a jealous controlling partner who does not want her man to be my friend. She thinks that for all these years I have harboured deep sexual feelings for her man and it is only when she is going out with him that I think “WOW I must have him NOW”. Why would I kiss him when we were both single when I can wait 20 years for him to meet her and then decide he is my true love?
Sometimes, she is just jealous of my history with her man. I can understand that slightly more, I guess, but just because we partied in the 90s together, it doesn’t mean that he loves her any less.
I am hurt by it, but I don’t care any more. I recently found out my friend is having a baby with his wife from his ex-girlfriend. I used to see this friend every week and his wife dislikes me so much that she’s cut me out completely. I tried to hang out with her, I would tell her how lucky perfect she is, I would talk openly about my own partner and how much I love him (a jealous girlfriend always feels a little safer if you are not single), I bought them a lovely wedding gift etc etc. It wasn’t enough as our friendship has trickled into nothing, despite the fact he works around the corner from me. For the record, his wife is amazing. She is hilariously witty, has a fantastic job and effortlessly stylish. But for some reason, she wants me out of their lives and she has succeeded.
Not a whiney post, but actually it puts me off investing time and effort into a male friendship as I just wonder how long we will last.
Anyone experienced the same?