Posts tagged ‘arranged marriage’

May 24, 2013

Dear Diary


Not another one!!

Dear Diary

I’m in my 30s and single.  Yeah, I’m ‘looking for lurve’ but I’m not in the slightest desperate and I’m happy enjoying my life with my friends and family.

Recently, in Delhi,  I have been approached by so many married men, one married to a very dear friend of mine, that have tried to kiss me and one even propose to me! Despite being already married.  Another married man thought nothing of sharing his sick fantasy – he wanted another two children with me besides his others.  Not with me mate!

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November 25, 2012

The Perfect Bride

An aunt recently lamented her mission to find her son a wife and the perfect daughter-in-law for herself.  The pair had hopped on a plane for a trip to Pakistan where her British-born and educated son was introduced to suitable young women but alas none would do.  She recalled

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September 24, 2012


Four members of one British Asian family from Birmingham were jailed today for killing a pregnant woman as they thought she was possessed.

The victim was a 21 year old woman from Pakistan who had come to Britain after marriage.  On the other side of the world from her own family

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May 17, 2011

Persuasion, Not Jane Austen’s

At the beginning of this week, MPs were calling to criminalise forced marriages.  The Government has a “forced marriage unit” which handles around 300 cases a year but The Telegraph has reported that the figure could be as high as 8,000 a year.

What a difficult issue to deal with – if you are a young person and your family is able to bully you into a forced marriage, then you are also less likely to be a person confident enough to report it to anyone. 

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March 9, 2011

Sixty, Single and Saudi

Dear Diary,

Last weekend after a lovely afternoon shopping and trying on make-up, M and I slumped in Wonderbar in Selfridges for a much needed pick-me-up.

There was an older woman sitting just to my left who kept looking over at us, smiling. The Londoners in us were initially cold and unfriendly but we remembered just in time that we’re Scottish so we started chatting to her and it was lovely.

Isha is in her sixties and from Saudi Arabia.

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February 28, 2011

5ft 5 Postgrad WLTM…

Dear Diary,

The last time I was at home I walked in on a phone conversation mum was having with a family friend that I have never met.

As I waited for mum’s attention I heard her talking about someone – me! She was explaining my more conventional educational background, not the fashion bit, and giving more bland details about me.  I was shocked to realise

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February 2, 2011

Asian male + arranged marriage = sex crimes?

Today’s The Wright Stuff (Yes, I have a job, cheeky!) discussed racially motivated sex crimes in response to Lord Ahmed’s comments reported by the Daily Mail. Lord Ahmed claims that the gang convicted of grooming and abusing young girls may be part of a larger problem connected to arranged marriages and the resulting lack of love. ..the poor babies.

There were so many things wrong with what he said that I don’t know where to begin for fear of spontaneous human combustion.  Besides the fact that love and sex is not the same, that ‘Asian’ is an unhelpful and dated description of the demographic from the Sub-continent, the generalisation Lord Ahmed made about Pakistani men is even worse.

Some parts of the UK have ghettos of Pakistanis and these men happened to be from there.  There is not an endemic and national community-wide problem of young men organising sex gangs due to arranged marriages and these men were certainly not seeking love from the young girls they attacked.  They were sick pedophiles looking for entertainment and gratification from vulnerable girls including ‘brown’ girls.

Lord Ahmed is correct to raise the important issue of ending first cousin marriages but his comparison to the criminal sex gang was wrong. My brothers, cousins etc should not judged by the actions of those criminals and whether you agree or disagree with arranged marriages, one would never consider them to lead to criminal behaviour.