Star Wars: The Force Awakens

My ONLY regret from last year was that on the 18th of December 2015, instead of joining the entire Western hemisphere at the cinema for the movie release of the decade, I was freezing my tits off in Delhi.

Oh, does Delhi get cold in Winter? Yes indeed. And there is no central heating or double glazing!!

My disloyal family went to the cinema without me ‘oh but we will watch it for the second time with you’ thanks guys! One of my dear cousins even spoiled it for me by revealing a key part of the story.

Uphaar Cinema Tragedy

It was just an ordinary evening one day in Delhi way back in 1997 when people went to their local cinema to catch the latest blockbuster. But ordinary soon turned into tragedy as a fire that started in the parking lot engulfed the cinema building itself.

Fire exits had been blocked and building safety norms were not followed by the owners of the cinema. As the fire struck, in the ensuing panic 59 men, women and children (some as young as 4 and 6 years old) lost their lives.

Eighteen years later and following an epic battle through the Indian legal system a verdict was passed by the Supreme Court that the

Indian Summers Addiction

There a few ingredients on TV that rock my boat: period drama, excellent fashion and style, architecture and politics. Mix all of these ingredients together and the outcome is INDIAN SUMMERS on Channel 4.

From the opening scenes of a sprawling villa in the Indian hills with indulgent hanging flowers and vines, you could almost inhale the heat and fragrance from the screen. After making me sickeningly envious of this property, we are slowing introduced to the characters who will keep us company at 9pm on Sunday evenings. 

New Year, New You…Whatever!!

Happy New Year from The Chatterjis!! Wow, I can’t believe it’s 2015 already, blink and it will be gone.  Have you stopped over eating yet or are there still boxes of bread sticks and unopened chocolate boxes that need munched?

Undoubtedly many of us would have spent at least 60 seconds

The Pursuit of Love

I started reading Nancy Mitford and took an interest in her after hearing about her on the BBC Radio 4 Great Lives programme.  She sounded so wonderfully witty, sharp and unsentimental that I decided to buy a few of her books.

The Pursuit of Love is a as much as finding love as it is about celebrating the love that an extended family can bring. If you are lucky enough

Charles Saatchi: The Hole Gets Deeper

My favourite TV chef  Nigella Lawson has remained silent in the four weeks since those now infamous paparazzi photos of her husband Charles Saatchi ‘grasping’ her neck, pinching her nose and covering her mouth.  Charles Saatchi has now announced through a Sunday newspaper that he is filing for divorce as Nigella has not come out to publicly defend his actions.

It is rather odd that we’ve been given such a deeply personal glimpse

How Is Your Mental Health?

Image from Art Therapy Blog

According to the World Health Organisation more than 450 million people in the world suffer from mental disorders and 80% of this number remain untreated.  The numbers are quite astonishing, however, how would we recognise our own behavioural signs that all is not well and how would we determine if a loved one had a mental health problem or simply a strong/eccentric personality?

High Pryce To Pay

Am I alone in feeling sorry for Vicky Pryce? She was sitting next to her husband whom she loved for almost 30 years and he turned to her and said it was over, he was with a younger woman, he wanted a divorce. And then he went to the gym.

Then the press find the whole thing hilarious because the younger woman had been in a relationship with another woman.

That’s Not My Baby

I visited a friend in Delhi today who has just given birth and, being British, found the differences in procedures and norms quite fascinating.  My dear friend was in a private hospital and is recovering well, however, when I arrived at the hospital I wasn’t allowed to take in the flowers I had just spend an hour selecting and directing how the arrangement should be done and when I walked into her room, NO BABY!

In India babies are kept

Travelling on Donkeyback

Donkey may be the fastest option for those facing travel chaos in the lead up to Christmas.  Today is expected to be the busiest day for the mass movement of Britons hoping to reach loved ones in time.  Hundreds of thousands of people will leave London in the coming days

The Perfect Bride

An aunt recently lamented her mission to find her son a wife and the perfect daughter-in-law for herself.  The pair had hopped on a plane for a trip to Pakistan where her British-born and educated son was introduced to suitable young women but alas none would do.  She recalled

Baby Blues

Dear Diary,

It’s not supposed to be like that, but it was.

The recent case of Felicity Boots brought back my own trauma and how my family almost collapsed because of post natal depression.

Marriage and Prejudice

Dear Diary,

I have been with my partner for over ten years. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, in the beginning we were just friends but then one day I realised that we were not going out to dinner as friends: we were on a date.

I am from Pakistan, though I have lived abroad for many years. My boyfriend is white British. I knew it wasn’t going to go down very well if my parents found out about him, they made no secret of how they felt about inter-racial marriages.  One day, while back in Pakistan on holiday, my mum found out about my boyfriend.  She made me promise to break up with him which I, very reluctantly, said I would do.

But I didn’t as I never intended to. My boyfriend and I continued our lives in London but I kept him a secret from most of

Child Friendly Wedding

As a parent, it was delightful to attend a wedding that gave so much consideration to the entertainment of the children. Hosted in the heart of Essex countryside, Leez Priory provided an idyllic setting for a wedding that made me beam.

IVF Over Cancer Treatment

The British government are proposing to offer IVF on the NHS to women over 40 and those with infectious diseases, such as Hepatitis C and HIV, or who have disabilities and are unable to have sex. There is a strong argument against this in the current climate especially as treatment and drugs for patients suffering from cancer etc… are being withdrawn.

Our dinner table discussion last night was should IVF be available on the NHS for these categories of women over cancer treatment?

Why Are Women Always To Blame?

Dear Diary

What is it about Asian society that will always blame the woman for everything that goes wrong and for nothing that goes right?

Gossiping among men is as potent as the stereotypes against women portray……. In fact it is even more dangerous because they are taken seriously.

Spain’s Stolen Babies

Last year while I was driving I listened to a Radio 4 programme about new-born babies that were stolen from mothers and families in Spain deemed unfit to be parents while Spain was under the dictatorship of General Franco.  This story has come into the media spotlight once more as an 80 year old Spanish nun attended court on 12 April accused of being involved in alleged baby stealing.

It was heartbreaking listening to mothers

Death Gave Her Life

Dear Diary

My father was diagnosed with terminal cancer when I was only nine.  My mother, brother and I were understandably devastated.  Dad started his treatment but it made him sick and moody and coping with imminent death

Patient Confidentiality Busted

Perhaps it’s a generation thing more than a cultural difference but at a recent gathering of friends and family at my home in Scotland the conversation lulled for a moment before my mum turned to an aunt and asked how her gallstones were.

Dear Diary, My Dear Friend

Dear Diary

The organisation my dear friend worked in for 14 years was recently restructured and her position was made redundant. The job still existed but it was expanded and transferred to a different location. It meant that she would have to re-apply for that position if she wanted to stay on and simultaneously relocate. She was given two months notice with the rider that there was going to be no compensation if she decided not to re-apply.

Ironically it was only a year ago when she had moved locations as her husband had received a lucrative offer from a technology firm – it was going to be beneficial both in terms of his role and finances. At that time she had offered to resign but the company wanted her to stay on

The Valentine’s Come Down

There were flowers, chocolates, a gorgeous card, a romantic meal…even great sex…..

and then ……..

Daughtergate Diary

Dear Diary

I’ve ticked all the boxes on what makes success but now I’m being pressured to bow out.  I graduated with a 2.1 in law, got a great job in a practice and married the love of my life a year ago.  We dated for 3 years and I was so happy to marry such an ambitious guy who cared about me and my family too.  The thing is, now my husband is really pressuring me

Celebrity Wife

Don’t you just love advice from celebrities?  You see, they are Human 2.0 they know how to be a better and wiser version of us so that they can pass their experience down to help us all out.  This time helpful advice is dished out from Gwyneth Paltrow

Downton Abbey Wins

Last night Downton Abbey was crowned best drama at the National TV Awards.  I hardly watch tv at all but I am so so glad a friend recommended this period drama to me one Sunday.  It was an episode in the middle of series two but that didn’t matter, I became fond of the characters instantly and the fashion and interior design even more.

Kodak Kringe Moments Gone

I was sad to hear Kodak closed its doors and filed for bankruptcy.  I felt a short nostalgic loss but the company failed to innovate and we fell in love with digital.

It was nice once upon a time going to Boots to collect photographs but inevitably there would be some real crackers that you wished had never been taken and should be burned along with the negative! 

Talk To Your Children

How would you feel if you received a text to tell you talk to your child? Patronised, insulted or helped and supported?

Ssh Someone’s Listening….

Dear Chatterjis,

You recently asked if your readers have anything they would like to share and I have had a really weird experience that I wonder whether other Asian couple’s have ever experienced.

Not The Nanad!

What is it about nanads, (husbands sister), that makes them so devious? Some of the stories I am hearing at the moment are beyond childish and insecure to really psychologically disturbed.

A friend of mine has had a torrid relationship with her nanad from the beginning. At first it was bitchy things like ignoring her at family events, or revealing private conversations at inappropriate times.

Pushy Parents

“I don’t know what is wrong with her. She is so clingy when I am around and will not just go and enjoy the class. I try to do so much for her to give her the best. She goes to nursery full time from 8am to 5.30pm and on the weekends, she does ballet, piano lessons, Gujarati school and swimming” Mum of a three year old.

Forced Marriages

Forced marriages were on the agenda in British politics today under a new guise. To protect British borders.

Prime Minister, David Cameron, would like to see forced marriages criminalised despite the Home Secretary rejecting requests from pressure groups only a month ago.

Child Adoption: Hollywood v Bollywood

David Cameron used his party speech to bring child adoption to the front of his agenda highlighting the woefully inadequate placement of children.  With children from ethnic minorities the figures are worse as an ethnic match is preferred but ethnic minority families seem more reluctant to put themselves forward. 

The Etiquette Of Mourning

Dear Diary,

The last few weeks have been so sad. I have been surrounded by families mourning their loved ones and amongst it all observing cultural etiquettes from cast to cast.

Love, Marriage, Divorce

Falling out of love has replaced affairs as the main reason for divorce, according to a survey conducted by accountancy firm Grant Thornton. 27% of divorces relate to couples falling out of love compared to the 25% that are a result of an affair. Startling!

Fuelling The Fire

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I just need to be listened to and empathised with. I don’t always want solutions or judgements on how I could do things better. All I want is an ear to hear me rant.

Living The Oedipus Complex

Dear Diary,

Recently, I heard the tragic tale of a young divorced woman who had just come out of living what could only be referred to as Freud’s theory of the Oedipus Complex.

She described to me the strange relationship that her husband had with his mother. At first she thought it was odd, as her husband’s family were more tactile than hers, but then she felt it was extremely abnormal and something needed to be done about it.

 

She Just Said “Mummy”!

Dear Diary,

Finally, last weekend, my 20 month old daughter called me Mummy. For over a year I have been distraught that my daughter continuously calls me Dada or Daddy. She can name most animals on a farm or in a zoo, the entire cast of Peppa Pig, the rest of our family, but could not say “Mummy”.

The joy I felt when she uttered this word was indescribable. After months of being teased by my daughter by pointing to herself when asked where her Mummy was, we had now bonded! She recognised me as her Mummy and claimed her ownership. I did not believe that I could be so overwhelmed by something so simple and immediately felt even more love for her.

Bugaboo Donkey Hits The Streets

The Rolls Royce of pushchairs has launched its new addition, Bugaboo Donkey. The Bugaboo, originally launched in 1999, has become synonymous with a certain kind of urban parenting; wealthy, style conscious and slightly over-involved. In certain parenting circles it is referred to as the Smugaboo. The price of this contraption is between £900 and £1200. Despite it’s name, which is already doing its round of jokes, it already has a waiting list!

Vaisakhi Neigbourhood Watch

Sunrise Radio, a dedicated South Asian station, warned Vaisakhi celebrators to watch their houses and burglars prey. Whist there is no conclusive evidence, it was suggested that Asians were robbing Asians.

Clash of the Titans

Recently, I have been listening to peers talk about their ill fated relationships with their mother-in-laws. In each circumstance, I am speaking to modern, educated brides who have quite traditional mother-in-laws. Their worlds are clashing and they are struggling to keep hold of and impart their values.

Drama Queen

Dear Diary,

My dad is addicted to Indian soaps and if allowed, he would watch the episodes and then the reruns. Since retirement, he seems to live out his life with these soaps. Apart from the news, he doesn’t watch any other channels until recently. We banned Zee TV!