The Danish Girl Isn’t My Kinda Girl

I sort of hobbled over to the Bloomsbury Curzon to catch The Danish Girl with Bunty as I had just knocked back a bottle of prosecco with another friend.

I arrived before Bunty and temporarily forgot what I was meant to be watching, asked the bar staff which screen The Danish Lady was in. I was duly informed that The Danish GIRL was upstairs and that the toilets were behind me. I was pissed and confused: But I never asked about the toilets. I clearly looked like I needed a mirror or something.

Bunty and two more girlfriends joined me, we got another bottle of prosecco, I spilled popcorn in the foyer (mortified!) and we finally sat down to watch the film.  What kind of pathetic girl does this character want to be??

Joy

As we all know, amazing films come out in January and this month is definitely filled with excellent films to check out. If you’ve already seen the Danish Girl and the Hateful Eight is way too violent then we recommend Jennifer Lawrence’s new flick, Joy. The film is the true story about the rise of Joy Mangano from poor singe mom to global entrepreneur. Robert DeNiro is her dad, Isabella Rossellini plays his girlfriend. What is there not to like? 

Million Dollar Arm

A few weeks ago I had realised that there were no Hollywood in Bollywood films on the horizon. Could it be? Could the Slumdog Millionaire franchise actually fail to produce another saccharine feel-good Hollywood blockbuster? Are there no more Americans that need to travel to India and “find him/herself” and return a changed human being for the greater good?

And then just like buses, three films come at once. One I’ve forgotten about already. I couldn’t face the Helen Mirren cooking one. But the baseball one seemed palatable, not least because the hunk (haven’t said that for a while) from Mad Men was in it. Enter… Million Dollar Arm.

Escape Plan

One of my most glorious moments was when I beat the boy in Commando Challenge.

We are watching Commando, an Arnie classic circa 1980s. A challenge! “Let’s see who guesses most next lines”. Our eyes slit and we grit our teeth.

He, a lifelong Arnie worshipper, sneers at me. He knows he will win! He is a boy! And I am a girl!

I sneer back. I know I will win! Yes I am a girl! A girl from Scotland with shit cold summers, a fun  sister and Commando on vhs that we will watch 20 times. A week!!!

The Sound of Cinema

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…. the opening lines of one of my favourite movies of all time, Star Wars.  The majestic musical score written for the Star Wars movies has been voted the UK’s favourite soundtrack as voted for across all BBC Radio listeners.

Instantly recognisable from the first notes

The Heat

You have got to the The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy it is amaaaaazing and so so funny.  It’s a brilliantly performed story and one of my teenage heart throbs

Gangster Squad

Wow what a film, you must catch Gangster Squad while it’s still out. Exquisitely shot, excellent acting from a fabulously selected cast and executed by paying homage to the gangster greats of yesteryear.

The Hobbit

Believe the bad reviews everyone, I regret to say that Peter Jackson’s new addition to the Tolkein films is a disaster and should be avoided at all costs!

It is roughly 1.5 hours too long, with many pointless and boring scenes (including ones clearly cut and pasted from previous films).  Is it me?  Do I simply not care about dwarves?  Why do all the thicko trolls have East London accents? 

Moon River

The crooner synonymous with one of the greatest movie songs of all time, Andy Williams died this week at the age of 84.  Moon River is of course featured in Breakfast at Tiffany’s surely one of the most amazing movies ever.

Originally featured in the film in 1961, Andy Williams made the song his own

Jack and Rose Go On and On in 3D

If ITV’s Titanic isn’t enough for you and you have a sinking ship fetish, the terribly long and dull 90s version of the tragedy is being released in 3D.

Such cheesy script and stereotyped characters it can only be topped

Vampires,Yes, Black People? No way!

Is it easier to believe in Vampires than to believe some vampires may be black?  And is it even more of a stretch of our imaginations to believe lead actors in a vampire flick could be black?

The Hunger Games is on general release now and it has been the subject of much debate as fans of the book/comic in the USA showed disgust and complete incomprehension at the casting of some of the lead characters.  I’m not going to re-type some of the racist tweets and blog comments you can google it but I’m interested in other aspects of this:

Did racism go temporarily underground or have some people always thought racist things about roles given to ethnic minorities?  Only now, they have public platforms

Criticising the Critic’s Choice

On this day today, one hundred years ago film criticism was born and hasn’t the influence of critics reduced dramatically since? 

Bello Vito

A prequel to Godfather has been given the green light.  The new tale/movie will focus on Vito Corleone’s rise to Don status.  I don’t know about you but I am a huge Godfather fan and I think this is unnecessary.