At work we fell into two camps during and following the horse meat scandal.
Smug smirky looky-downy middle-classes who sneer “what do you expect! A Findus frozen lasagne hahahah and you think you’re eating beef? Come on!”
And…
Smug smirky looky-downy vegetarians who sneer “hang on you disgusting eaters of flesh! What is the difference between eating a cow and a horse?”
I fell into the second camp. “It’s a good week to be a veggie, hohoho” my fellow veggies and I chuckled.
Not so! Do you like chocolate? And almond? I heart both. And if you were in the Second Worst Place on Earth (Ikea), does your partner have to promise to buy you a chocolate almond cake to shut you up that “all the cool couples in the world are not in Ikea on a Saturday”?
Ikea have found poo, YES poo, in their chocolate almond cakes. I shake even as I type. I remember reading about some loser who found a fingernail in his cornflakes, but this is even worse than that. I shall never step inside Ikea again and this story gives me the perfect reason not to, thank you Ikea! I hate your crappy furniture, long queues and one-lost-nail-in-the-packet-so-you-have-to-drive-all-the-way-back! Your ads are boring, girl in knickers bouncing around, cheers for that but I’m not a teenage boy. And now! You are feeding me poo as well as selling it to me! Goodbye Ikea, I am of that age now that I can move on to Heal’s and am blessed with a rubbish memory so I can’t actually remember if I’ve ever eaten one of your chocolate poo cakes.
Bunty
